Insight: Is Media High Council Ikime’s magic kitchen?

This post has already been read 12724 times!

By Robert Mugabe

I want to imagine that you have ever heard this story of a Nigeria houseboy, an entire family and the magic kitchen saga. The story begins with a stubborn but bright houseboy Ikimenfuna.

Ikemefuna is a houseboy who drinks his Boss’s wine with impunity then adds water to cover his tracks. His Boss became suspicious and decided to buy pasties (A French wine that changes color if you add water; just like dettol detergent).

Unaware of this, Ikemefuna, drank from the wine pot as usual and topped it up with water. As immediately as he added water, the pasties became milky and he knew he was in trouble.

When the Boss came back and saw the changed pasties, he knew he had nailed Ikemefuna. Ikemefuna knowing he was in trouble decided to stay put in the kitchen when his boss came home. The Boss having told his wife what he observed, now swung into action.

“Ikemefuna!”, he called from the sitting room. He answered: “Yes, Boss”. “Who drank my pasties?”, Ikemefuna: No answer. The Boss asked again: still no answer. Then the Boss went to the kitchen to meet him there: “Are u insane or what? Why then when I call, you say “yes boss” but when I ask you a question u don’t answer me?

Ikemefuna retorted, “hmmm oga, when you are in this kitchen you don’t understand anything at all, except your name”. “Is that so?” asked the boss, “Okay, go to the bar stand beside Madam, while I go into the kitchen; and then, you ask me a question” Ikemefuna accepted. When his boss was in the kitchen he shouts: “Boss”. “Yes, Ikem” Boss answers. Ikemefuna then asks, “Who goes into the maid’s bedroom when Madam is not at home?” No answer.

The boy shouted again: “Boss, I say who then sneak into the maid’s room when madam is not the house?” No answer.

The Boss runs back from the kitchen shouting “Wonders shall never cease! Ikemefuna, It is true…oooo, when one is in the kitchen, one does not hear anything, except one’s name.”

Furiously, the wife interrupted, “that’s not true. It’s a lie! Without any argument!

Ikemefuna asked if she’ll (Madam) enter the magic kitchen to be tested. She agreed.

…Ikemefuna asks madam, “Who’s junior’s biological father? me or the boss?” Madam rushed out of the kitchen.”This kitchen needs to be fumigating oh! I can’t understand anything at all! To cut the long story short, nobody dared to stand the test of the magic kitchen.

Now, seems the Media High Council is slowly becoming a magic kitchen that challenges both a political science graduate and a lawyer in a similar way. It all started when the former Executive Secretary of the Media High Council Patrice Mulama wrote a cautioning letter to the Police about journalists’ harassment. Then, the Board refused to sign, therefore Mulama took a bold stance to sign the letter which latter turned to be a go-home license.

The government appointed a lawyer who looks humble and understanding. However, the kitchen seems to be un-friendly. In the last four months, the Media High Council has come up with a good idea of celebrating World media day in style.

The plan was to have a media week, do community work, socialize and then end with Media Excellence Awards.

However, the Board seems not to be happy with the plan, orders changing the concept note every time, now the plan to have a media week has been deserted remaining with Media excellence awards. Because of politics and controversies that have engulfed media awards previously, the current plan is also likely to be more complicated.

As long the Media High Council board members are in bed with politicians, the MHC is going to be Ikem’s magic kitchen. Available information indicate that the politically oriented MHC board told the Executive Secretary that the Media Excellence awards could go ahead on condition some categories were removed for example investigative journalism and other politically sensitive categories. This is supposedly to maintain a less sensitive atmosphere.

However this has expectedly led to discussion of an Ikem’s kitchen as being the story at MHC as explained in our continuing stories.

Watch this space…

This post has already been read 12724 times!



  1. good story. tell us more

    April 7, 2012 at 7:57 AM

    nice article. tell us more bwana.


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